fallen

JUST......

JUST BECAUSE.....

I'm quiet-Doesn't mean I don't have alot to say
I'm sarcastic-Doesn't mean I don't take it seriously
I forgive-Doesn't mean I forget
I'm stubborn-Doesn't mean I'm not easy going
I don't show MY feelings-Doesn't mean I don't have
I'm not LIKE YOU-Doesn't Mean I'm WEIRD
I Dont say I Love You-Doesn't mean I don't
fujismile

hmmmmm..

Hi minna,

Its been so long... anyway..i'm back and will start writing again...I will also share with some stuff that I wrote...

That's it for now since I have slept yet..

Till next time..


Ja ne~~


T
  • Current Music
    rain drops hitting the roof
fujismile

Time flies

Hello, Minna

It been so long since I posted..almost a year since Christmas is just around the corner again..*sighs*

Anyway, I just wanted to say how nice it is to be able to think straight and not wallow in dark thoughts although I still do so in some occasions....

I am surprisingly happy where I am right now..its tiring yes and the pressure overwhelming but its all good..I can take it at least I think I can....^_^

I am slowly realizing things that I have previously been ignoring and I am getting to know more about myself in the process...I have a long way to go before I can fulfill my dream of becoming a Shutterbug since family comes first before yourself...

I am trying to follow an advise that fellow Tefu fangirl once told me...(Hi, Junn-chan)...
Its a little hard but I am slowly trying to reach for a certain degree of freedom that my current circumstance would allow me...so far its okay...

Its crazy how my current workplace made the some side of me more apparent..*evil smirks*

I am trying to make sure that the FUN I'm having at work right now STAYS and I hope I don't get burned out...*crosses fingers*

Some of my old friends have gotten into the practice of calling me a Workaholic....its funny really...since its completely not true.. :P

I'm still Anime obsessed as I have been though I gotta admit I have lost touch with latest since I am either too busy or too lazy...lol!

I am on strict diet since I really want to get in to shape so that I can return to my Tennis training and also our Company's Year end party is coming up...

Gahh! I still don't what to know what to wear...What in the world can one wear in Cocktail themed party?? A c**k and tail???

If you have suggestions feel to let me know....I'm kinda on fuller figure side right now since I gained a ton of weight..argh!

Hoping to get my old self back before or on birthday and resume tennis training mid next year..and also buy that DSLR and start working on that dream...*hopes very badly*


Oh yeah I also started to participate in FUN RUNS FOR A CAUSE that my company organized...completed two already I am proud of myself but I am still seriously out of Shape..I can run longer than 3k before and not breath like I'm drowning..sheesh..I wonder what happened

Oh yeah...call center life happened but then again that's not an excuse...anyways I'm gonna stop ranting now...

Till next day off...Ja!!


T. 
fujismile

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 


JUST WANTED TO GREET EVERYONE A MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND AN AWESOME NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



That's it,ne.......Till next time.......... Ja ne!!!







  • Current Music
    silence
fujismile

It's that time of the year again.....

 
Hello,

Im such lousy blogger.....anyway...Christmas is jut around the corner..waaah!! I don't have a list yet of who to give presents to.....ehhehheee!!

It's so hard to think of a gift these days...back when I was young a simple home made was enough but as i grew older and started earning..a card seems to have lost its charm....hmmmmm..I wonder why...

Well...i have to now....just wanted to post something.....
  • Current Music
    huumming of the fan
fujismile

Dumbest person on earth...ME

 Hello, minna

I have not been able to post anything lately due to my RL swallowing me whole....

The subject sums up all my thoughts right now..... I do feel like dumbest person on the face of the planet...I mean I thought I had some sort of organ in my head that deemed me intelligent but from the way things are going in RL job..I'm not so sure anymore.......

I mean OMG....Just thinking about it..all the things we need to remember to say,to log and to type is just too much.....if you don't get it right..you may end up paying..geeesh!!! It makes my brain freeze...rendering me totally incoherent...

Right now I'm in the critical part of training..this is the time that you can get kicked out...I have started receiving calls and so far things are not going very well on my opinion at least...

They say it's because everything's new..I don't think so...but then again that's just me....

I don't know why I went and applied there anyway..I guess you could say that I was desperate because for my family to have a comfortable life at least two people should be part of the workforce or one person should be earning at  least a two digit figure in a payout...

I have no idea why it's so damn expensive to live a comfortable life..I don't live in Europe for crying out loud....

I just want a stable life since I don't have my father anymore and I need to watch over my mom....

I'm really sure why accepted the job for a Telecom account knowing that I have trauma for such accounts..they say you should face your fears but I don't think you should do that when your in desperate situation because no matter how hard you try face your fear... it would only make it worst because it is not a place where you want to be at the moment but you had to be there because that was your best and only available option.....

My mental state as of the moment is going down hill and I'm trying my best not give in to it......but it's getting really hard and tiring fighting back..

I want to be free from all this heavy responsibility but I don't want to be called a selfish sister and an ungrateful daughter either....but I'm tired..sometimes I wish I had someone that I can turn to and say "Hey I'm tired can you take over" but I don't..........

Or maybe someone to take care of me instead at the end of the day.....don't get me wrong I like being single but sometimes the natural instinct on depending on someone would kick in and that's when things  get slightly lonely.......I'm not saying I need to be with someone just so I can lean on to them..no that's not it but having the feeling of being taken cared by someone unconditionally is something that anybody would like to have, ne...even those who love their freedom like to be pampered or spoiled sometimes or just simply cared for....

Then again I know that person  is out there we just haven't met each other yet.......

Im going stop right now 'coz my brain is DEAD!!!!

till next time,

Ja ne,

T
  • Current Music
    rain pattering on the rooof
fujismile

hiya,mates!...gah! Im not feeling well...

 
I'm back,minna..it 's been ages since I posted something. I was too depressed to think clearly and then I got busy with work. I'm now with an Australian account, w/c means no graveyard shift...yahoooooo! 

I can finally experience a normal life well not quite..hehehehehehe!! As I stated on the subject line, I'm not feeling well,,,,waaaah! I feel like crying..I have work tomorrow so I can't get sick...Great to post something..right..too tired to think and too sick to move...NYA!

OH! yeah, I wanted to tell you about my Aussie trainer, his so adorable specially when he tries to speak Filipino..KAWAIIII!!!! He has blue gray intelligent and expressive eyes..he has this cute pout too...hahahahahah!! Anyway much to his Fangirl's disappointment, his already taken..(too bad,ne?)...

He and his partner has been together for 12 years.,I think..Am not not sure about that data,ne...

Now that I'm done fangirling...Im going to tell you what I have been doing......




Next Time...hheheheheheheheh!!


I need to eat then rest.....Ja ne!

A not so random me..
shutterbug_psi logging off...
  • Current Music
    news on T.V..boring huh?
fujismile

Writer's Block: Sony Cyber-shot TX5

If you had a waterproof camera, what are the top five things you would want to photograph? Let your imagination run wild.

1.A detailed shot inside a whale  sharks  mouth

2. A close up portrait of a  great white sharks teeth

3. The dance of the jelly fish 

4. Catching Nemo and his friends (in a candid shot)

5. Whales in courtship


fujismile

hmmmm!!

 Hello!!

It'a been a while since I posted anything, my RL was crazy for awhile until I resigned from my current job in the middle of June then it became peaceful to say the least but it was not all that though because with peace came anxiety and frustration and of course interviews from other companies which then made my mind a blank page. That is why I was not able to post anything..

I have not found a new job yet but I'm hanging in there but it gets really hard to stay positive and sometimes no most of the  time I feel the depression that I have held at bay for awhile now (w/o any anti depressants, mind you) come back with stronger force than the first time and it would  try and send me over the edge. That part that separates  sanity with insanity...

I still can't think straight and my mind is as chaotic as ever.....its  getting harder to hold on each day...

Till next time!!

Ja!!
  • Current Music
    silence
fujismile

Don't know what do

 Hello, minna!!!!

Hi, I have not posted anything in awhile. I'm so confused right now...RL is crazy.. I don't know if I should stay or look for greener pastures elsewhere..waaah!!! My current work was fine until recently when everything seems to go down hill for my account w/c then resulted to me being transferred to another campaign. I just finished my training for British culture and will start another leg of the two month training for my new account...there is something about this situation that does not bode well..its driving me crazy....THE 3 years that I have stayed w/ my company is to valuable to throw since prolonged stay w/ a company has its advantages for example getting loans and stuff but I'm no longer happy...what should I do, ne????
  • Current Music
    humming of the electric fan